yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
