# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
