im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize