he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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