Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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