M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
