BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
