I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
