if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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