So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
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I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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