so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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