why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We got so high we made milksteak
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
