She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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