My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you inspire me to be a worse person
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
