After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
