dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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