Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
