i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize