when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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