how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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