actually, I'm a sock model
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
