i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
