you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
