Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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