whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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