nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
