we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
