allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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