the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
