Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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