my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
