i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
