You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
