Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
