Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Two words: nipple clamps
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