you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
