I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
