Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
