dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
