I got chris browned last night
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
