Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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