4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
