yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
