i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
