three words: i give head
three words: not that well
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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