Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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