am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
