i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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