Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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