i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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