sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I sprained my soul last night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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