K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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