Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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