you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
