in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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