Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
