Your dad touched me again.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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