i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
